However, with that first glimpse of the second line on the pregnancy test I felt an almost immediate panic. It has everything to do with having a healthy baby and pregnancy. There's no sugar coating it. Last time was rough and I really want everything to go smoothly this time. I really don't think the anxiety is going to completely go away and it was almost all consuming for a while. However, I'm trying to be more proactive this time. Last pregnancy I didn't expect anything other than a healthy pregnancy. This time I'm trying to be overly careful. My priorities right now are taking care of my daughter, work, and taking care of myself and Baby C. Poor Jarod is probably going to have to put up with lots of take out and a messy house for a while. (And honestly I don't think he minds at all). And my parents have been saints. I've been spending almost every weekday at their house resting up for almost a month now.
Also, after a lot of thought and a few talks with a close friend who is a doctor and always a voice of reason, I've decided to take an appointment with a new doctor this Wednesday. I don't think my doctor is horrible. However, after a few things both Jarod and I didn't feel comfortable with in my last pregnancy and a few issues already... We just don't feel like we have complete confidence in him. And I just need to have someone taking care of me who both Jarod and I have confidence in.
So far I've been seen several times and have had several ultrasounds. During my latest ultrasound we found something unusual. I had two fetal sacs. One sac had a baby in it. The second sac did not and was about a third of the size as the sac with the baby. The doctor called it a vanishing twin. At some point early on we lost one baby/embryo??? He said sometimes these things just happen. There was a bit of sadness. However, my doctor told me that toxemia patients with multiples are a nightmare. So we are taking it as god's will. And feel blessed to have one healthy baby still intact. I had been having really low blood pressures but about a week before that appointment my blood pressure rose. However, for three days in a row now I have had IMPECCABLE blood pressure readings. The first day, I had our school nurse take my blood pressure and I could have kissed her. ;o) So right now, I'm feeling pretty good about my blood pressure and I feel like I can take a nice deep breath. I'm also starting to feel a bit less anxiety. The last three days of BP readings have been absolutely magical for my state of mind. I'm very much looking forward to the second trimester! And it's crazy to think I'm already at least a fourth of the way in. I also just can't wait for the first kick. It's the most amazing feeling and I want it NOW... he he.
We can't wait to meet our new loved one! Babies are always the best kind of news.
As for this poor blog. I feel like it's been incredibly neglected. I've taken a ton of iphone pictures that aren't the greatest. But I need to post them. As Melanie is now "Speedy Gonzales" I'm struggling to get her to sit still for a picture. More and more her personality is coming out and changing, and I worry that Jarod and I are in for trouble. Haha. The girl has absolutely no fear. (Which has led to a lot of boo boos). She beelines for anything and everything she's not supposed to get into. Including the steps. She's made it up to step #6 with hands on step 8. She pulls herself up on anything she can. It's just so incredible to watch. She waves at people now... I could go on and on, but I should save some for her 11 month post that's just around the corner! More than ever I'm enjoying my time home with her. I'm a lucky girl to be working the hours I'm working. I just can't get enough of the girl! She makes my life complete!!!!
Picture taken back at the beginning of January when we "found out".
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